The Experiment:
To do something out of character that will force me to feel uncomfortable so that I get out of my comfort zone.
The idea:
Slacker and Steve's Bitter Ball for singles on Valentine's Day
The Goal:
To go by myself so that I am forced by myself to talk to men I find attractive and make conversation.
The Result:
Failure, because me and my big mouth and scaredy pants ways invited a fellow single lady to go with me. Which did not help me because I felt obligated to hang out with her instead of mingling. Plus my friend was sick and I was also feeling out of sorts. So, flirting with single, hot men did not happen. Though I did get hit on twice by really drunk men, so maybe it counts that I can attract the alcoholics...yippee just what a woman wants a slobbery, slurring, smelly mess of a man.
The reason I wanted to do this because I have this issue that if I find a man attractive I can't seem to be my wonderful self I have this tendency to start ignoring them and if I can't do that I encourage them to date other people, while my inner voice is screaming, “I want to date you, pick me, pick me!” Pathetic I know, and the really sad part is when I find a man unattractive I can flirt up a storm and I just end up leading them on, it is just awful.
I am not giving up on myself I truly want to learn to become more confident with men I find attractive but I think I need to find them in better places other than a bar with loud music. So, here I go I will someday date a man that I found attractive, someday I will get to be that woman who can go up and flirt with any type of man with confidence because I believe in myself and know that I am perfect just the way that I am. Also, being single is not the kiss of death, I actually quite enjoy it, but I would like some companionship and sex. So, maybe I will work on building my confidence at Starbucks instead of at a bar and maybe instead of flirting with the safe ones I'll find a dangerous one and give it a go.
Manda
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